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Sam Malone (Character) - Quotes. The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff. Dr. Simon Finch- Royce: Well now, I need to begin to get to know you two, so Diane, why don't you start? Diane: Well, they say you don't have prenatal memories, but I have a distinct 'in utero' recollection of a Fourth of July concert my Mother attended. There was at least one sousaphone..
Sam is napping on the office couch, Simon is sitting in the chair listening, and Diane is still talking. This time I, acquiesced, and agreed to become Mrs Malone.. Sam, a little of your history, please. Let's see, it was uh, August 5th, 1. I got my first Major League save. It was in Baltimore.. Sam Malone: If you can go back to the womb, I can go back to the damn Oriole double- header.
Simon Finch- Royce: Well, moving on. Now, what are the keys to a successful marriage?
Well there are numerous schools of thought. Many experts claim that the most important single ingredient in a marriage is.. Simon Finch- Royce: Quickly now. Simon Finch- Royce: Honesty. Because from honesty springs.. Simon Finch- Royce: ..
Yes: trust. Diane: I was going to say that. Simon Finch- Royce: Well those people are wrong. Simon Finch- Royce: Well, think yourselves lucky I mean, you found out now.
Saved yourself years, perhaps decades, of pain and heartache.. Diane: We're going to get married, of course! We're not going to listen to that, sack of fish n' chips! Because although we are, very different people, our parts mesh together perfectly. We have achieved, symbiosis.
Sam Malone: Well, not every time, but it's close. Maybe we should give it some thought. Maybe I'm a confirmed bachelor. Diane: Maybe you'll do me the honor of sticking a sock in it!
How can he say we are mismatched on the basis of two silly questions? I didn't even answer mine accurately! I said what I thought he wanted to hear! Sam, did you answer the way you wanted to answer, or the way you thought he wanted you to answer, or the way you thought I wanted you to answer? Sam Malone: I don't know, I got confused after the babe in the bikini walked by. All of a sudden he says something you don't like, and now you don't believe him anymore?
He doesn't know what he's talking about! Don't you think he's capable of making a mistake? Simon Finch- Royce: That's highly unlikely, although, I did let the two of you in. Simon Finch- Royce: I think I've shown remarkable restraint so far, but I have had just about enough. Now I've said that you're not compatible, and you've done nothing to show me otherwise.
Simon Finch- Royce: Well, let me answer you this way. Sam, do you really want to be here?
What do we care if this guy doesn't think we should get married? Nobody we know thinks we should get married. We don't go bugging them in the middle of the night, do we?
Sam Malone: Nothing. That's your solution to everything: nothing!
Is that what you're going to do for the rest of your life? Ever since he walked in here, you've been talking like the Queen was your Aunt Betty or something. Sam Malone: Yeah, I guess I did. Diane Chambers: And I you. What did you fantasize about? Sam Malone: Mostly you'd stop using phrases like, .
Diane Chambers: I certainly can. What you have in your pockets? Sam Malone: Why don't you check it out yourself and you tell me.
Diane Chambers: I think my point is made. I realize we made it over the phone and well, here's your chance to back out. Diane Chambers: This lady's not going to let you off that easily.
Sam Malone: But it was a nice try there, Stuart. On a scale of one to ten, with me being a twelve of course, where are you going to rate Stuart? Diane Chambers: Let's change that to IQ. While your score would remain twelve, his would skyrocket. Sam Malone: It's too bad you're not going to be gazing across the table at his IQ.
Diane Chambers: Why don't you just admit you're jealous. Sam Malone: All right, I am.
You're right, but can you blame me? Diane Chambers: Sam, are you saying what I think you're saying? Sam Malone: You bet I am. I'd kill for a car phone.
Sam Malone: You might, but I don't think you will. Sam Malone: Oh, well of course you are honey, but we've all gotten used to that. He's wearing that smitten look I know so well. I've got to do something before it goes any further.
Diane Chambers: For the first time in my life, I can't bring myself to tell the truth to a man, so I need a lie. And God forgive me, I'm coming to you for help. Sam Malone: Well, I'm flattered. Um, all right, let me, let me give this a little thought here. All right, all right, I've never passed this one on before, but I think it's the ticket here. It's neat, it's fast, clean, and best of all, it makes them want them want to get away from you.
Tell him you have a contagious skin condition, and that insanity runs in your family. Sam Malone: Thank you. Diane Chambers: Sam, I have never been more grateful to you than I am now. I just looked into the face of insensitivity and dishonesty and it made me blanch. I am going out there and I am going to break up with Stuart, but I'm going to do it honestly, straightforwardly and yet caringly. I'll tell him the truth of my feelings: that I'm not attracted to him romantically, although I am very attracted to him as a friend. And I'll say it a way that, that he will accept and understand and be grateful for.
Do you even begin to understand what I'm trying to say? Sam Malone: Everything except the part where you changed your name to Blanche. Diane Chambers: Good- bye Sam. Sam Malone: Good- bye Blanche. You just can't be honest with yourself. Looks are all that ever mattered to you. Diane Chambers: What are you talking about?
Sam Malone: Oh, yeah. You want me to prove it to you? Diane Chambers: Yes! Sam Malone: Who were you more crazy about than anyone else in your entire life, not including yourself there? And there was only one reason why you ever went out with me and that was because of my looks.
Diane Chambers: Not entirely. Sam Malone: Yes entirely.